Saturday, June 23, 2012

some thoughts


It has been awhile since I last wrote a post…
Time passes fast…or should I say fly…
Just in two days, I will be leaving KH
Just less than two weeks, I will be leaving TW... back to Sg.
Days passed, things happened…
There are good and bad, happy and sad…
Met people…
Try new stuff…

Had a good dream last night..
But they say dream is always the opposite as reality..
Fear started to ignite in me…
It grows..as I stepped out of my room, the dorm…
I don’t feel good at all..
But I told myself…I shouldn’t be doing this…at least not when I am with my friends..
I did it..fortunately…

But once I stepped back my room…
The fear..
The uneasiness starts to grow again…

Days without internet really left me with nothing that I can do to stop or reduce the fear..
The dream of seeing the friends that I treasured…
The fear of losing them…
Just because of…my personality…
I don’t know if I should be pro-active…
It is the fear of getting hurt that stops me from getting in touch with my friends…
I might be disturbing them..or
It is just one-sided…
I don’t know whether this is the end-effect of the painful event that I felt few years back…
I started to fear…
Lots of things…which I won’t tell to anyone…
It’s hard to tell…
It will always remain a grief…
That is the only way
I have to bury it..
Deeper and deeper…

One more day before I can have internet back..
2334 (22 June)

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