big

hey,

you know what..

i made a very big decision just now..

i decided to sign up for a management trainee..(cost me 100 bucks too)

this wasn't what i expected or something that i thought that i want..

fear?

definitely yes..

but if it can change me, why not..

i want to try since i am still young now

there are many things that i want to do..

these skills that i lack..

how hard it might be for me right now,

I will persist,

adapt

learn

and turn into a new me..

hopefully this is an opportunity

not a sham..


and few hours after this decision..

I got a call that i am accepted..

the internship that i wanted really much for the past few days..

but this came too late..

my mind was in the mess when i received the call..

after thinking, considering..

i cant split myself into two..

man cant be too selfish..you will lose everything instead..

so..

i didn't regret my choice..

nth is constant,

as time passed, things changed..

my want changes..

it just missed my changing point..


I wont regret..

I just want to be a different me..

someone who can communicate well..my future me..

even if it will take pain to achieve that, i will

i still can feel the drive now

even though it deflated quite a bit when my mind is in the mess..

hopefully i can get a reply by mon..

then everything will be fixed..

my mind fixed..
my path changes..
i want to be successful..

successful yet meaningful..

i need to grow..

can't stay in my shell anymore..
i have to grow..
grow big and tall..

even though change is fearful,
scary,
i believe i can do it..


so please keep it as a secret first..
let it be our secret for now..

and thanks for listening..