have..

You know what..
i think i m back to square one..
i still cant move on..

saw that she going to camp..maybe when i ask it will be the wrong time..
but i will have to ask before 6 aug..
i want everything done before 6..
i need
and i HAVE to..
that what yx said..

this is the first time that i realised that 'have' is a strong word..

u know..i began to think back again..things were once so happy and nice for me..
but now i have no idea what is dream and reality..

confused..

the person that once gave me happiness..now gave me pain..
ironic as it sounds..

i will never want to see her again..
never..

tired..
flu..
ulcers..

just feel sick..

and where are you..

gone.

some pictures while working..

too boring at work..haha..







some wine-like drink!

more pictures..

the view when i climb up to 15th floor..super tiring!!

SG CONDO- Tan Boon Liat Building (on the way to work)

mushroom growing by the tree!!

missing work...

yay no work today..but i quite miss it..
everyday i will have to wake up at 720 sharp..
leave hse at 7 40 to catch the train at 747..
and also trying to catch the pasir ris train at 8.03..
and i will reach tiong bahru at about 8 30 where i will walk to my office!

and have lunch at 12 plus..

and end work at 6..i always leave on the dot cos i need to catch my 75 bus!

i took some pics while at work..so i think i shall just post the pics too..
eh how to post pictures?!

went to ikea td.
first time..
eat meat balls..
eat pancakes
eat chicken wings..
eat choco..
eat some pie..
eat fried rice..

omg sounds alot right..

and i cant stop thinking about some things..you..
it just came to me whenever i m day dreaming..stoning..

yet i realised that i m really nth to you..which it hurts a lot..a lot..

maybe it will ask when i come back from camp..i think i m not going to enjoy my camp

yay today my boss treat lunch!
tiban sth..

gp said it just now but i forget again.haha
so full man..
i think i dinner dont need eat le..
I THINK..haha
but i dont have enough time to eat too..
maybe just drink a vitagen will do..

and gp is really crazy abt dieting..she wants to go my hse just to weigh her weight!
(evidence to emphasize!)

tmr thought can meet yx..but she cant:(
sad..nvm there is still other time..
hope my weight drop to 47 tmr!haha..

喝冬瓜水时
我想起你
你喜欢喝冬瓜水吧

last day of work today:)
so should i feel happy?

;sigh

i think i wil ask after i come back for camp..
i cant hold any longer..until my birthday..

hope this week will be fine..
i think i can pass my bte ba..
haha..
going practice after work later!!
dunno how the questions are like..

6 hours more!:)

eh gp not online..

u sent me the same song from last week..
do you know?

it seems that you sent just for the sake of sending..
you dont even remember what have you sent huh..
yet i sent it because i thought it will make u happy..

u have changed..

my jt has gone..long ago

我对你来说什么都不是吧

我却如此念着你

笨
傻
固执
无药可救

你就连一个简讯也不给

我真笨

我又哭了

笨蛋..

我现在在发抖..
并不是冷气开太大
而是心里觉得很冷..
真的 好冷

一点回复也不给
你真 狠心..

我也该明白 是吗..

我还在寻找 一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷 替我烦恼 为我生气为我闹
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
幸福开始有预兆 缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了 无聊变得有话聊 有变化了
小酒窝长睫毛 是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着 想念你的微笑
你不知道 你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老
小酒窝长睫毛 迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调 感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到 心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好 我永远爱你到老



我记得当时我听这首歌时是在十二月二零零八年
在我去云顶时听的
边听边想着你
看你的简讯说你也要去云顶..我是多么的开心..
我们选在晚上碰面 虽然我弟弟妹妹在场
但能看到你我是多么的开心
牵着你的手是多么幸福 我小小的手牵着你小小的手..
玩游戏机时能闻到你身上香香的味道..

这样我就很满足了 只要你在身边什么都好

我很想你..真的..
真的..
你怎么那么狠心..为什么 为什么..

头发

今天我剪头发了
朋友之前都问为什么要剪..
口里虽说因为长头发很麻烦,我不喜欢之类的原因
但是心里却想的不一样..
因为没理由把头发留长了..

我留头发的原因已不存在了
我之所以留
是因为她的一句
她说要我留长发..
所以我留了..

听话吧
可笑吧
笨吧
她已不理了..
原因也就没了..

剩下我粉碎的空心..

stubborn me

everyday i open my eyes and i will think of you..
and there goes my mood..

was wondering again how can you seems to treat those memories as nothing..
can you teach me..
i thought i was okay..but it seems i wasn't..
gp was right..

i was just escaping and not moving on..
it is hard..i just cant bear the thought of forgetting everything that has happened even though..it seems to be like a dream to me..a long one..a dream that lasted for 2 years..

is there a promise between us..
i bet you have forgotten it..
that's why i told gp that maybe there is maybe there isnt..

i think gp knows what is going on..the only person..maybe yx too..
i m sorry that i cant tell u guys anything yet..
because i m confused..
i dunno how i have gone through this 6 months..

but i know i have to settle it soon..because i m going crazy soon..
missing you although i know u wont..
i cant control myself that well anymore..

but i need to..i have to make this over..
i don't wish to break the promise i made to my dear friends..

but i keep having this small hope somewhere in my stupid heart that maybe you will be back..
silly..
stubborn..

maybe it is really stubborn huh..haha

i m confused..
i don't know what to do now..
for the past few months..i tried to forget everything..everything..
all the efforts seem futile now..

i just realised what i did was to escape from it temporarily..
i can no longer return to the same old me 2 years ago..
it's hard..
st says it takes time..but things seems to get worst now..
my emotion unstability for the past 2 days had went for the worst...
i can't control it..

as time passed by..i realised the person that i thought i knew..was in fact just a dream..
the truth is that i don't know her at all..and i only realised it now..

i should have stopped allowing her getting close to me when st asked me if i find her scary 2 years ago..i should have..
but i didn't..

i don't know what to do now..and i can't tell anybody about this..

haomaodun ah..

i just realised the person that i thought i know...was just a dream..
i dont even know the real her at all..
i dont know anything abt her infact...
and i thought i knew...

those 2 years were just a dream right...

it hurts alot...

alot...

so who is the one that i spent almost everyday with?who?

can i do a sketching of you?

6 more days to quiting day!so sian about work..

was wondering again when i was in the train td..
did i choose the correct course..
maybe i should have taken eng sci..
but i dont think i can..seeing her ard..makes me hurt a lot..
my nightmare maybe will come true..and i will be alone..

nvm.. i should stop wondering..and be firm about my choice..
ha..actually i didnt make the choice..the main factor is still her..

she is the one who has really changed my life..stupid me.

working is siann

slept only 5 hrs today..super sleepy
tried to sleep while standing on train..ha
and my efforts of staying late last night went to the drain;cry
the video cant play!!
and i waited for so long for it to convert..
;sigh..shall watch it at home later!

3 more hrs left!!i want to go home..6 more days:)


*your msg makes me feel better..do you know..

dreamr/nightmare

ytd i had the worst nightmare ever..
i didnt know it will hurt so much to see that..

she is with a guy..

it is just a dream...yet i dont know what will happen to me if this comes true..
i dunno..

i m already in the midst becoming crazy...
everything shall be over in a month time..
ii hope..
u will grant my wish right..